There’s an internet meme that asks what message you’d write to let your loved ones know you’ve been kidnapped — a statement so unlike you that they’d know something was wrong and to look for you immediately. My longtime answer was, “I am voluntarily camping in the woods,” as I am a proud, lifelong, five-star-hotel snob who considers roughing it to be a place without room service.

After three peaceful, lo-fi but not completely unplugged nights looking at the stars from under a canopy of green along Virginia’s Shenandoah Mountain, though, I’m going to have to come up with another one.

This month, I spent time at Getaway Shenandoah North, a secluded collection of 42 tiny cabins nestled in the town of Basye (population: 1,374). It’s one of 29 so-called Getaway outposts around the country that are based on being an average of two hours outside major cities such as Boston; Atlanta; Los Angeles; Portland, Oregon; and Washington, (which is, you guessed it, about two hours from Basye).

The facilities, whose founders pitched the idea on “Shark Tank,” are made for people like me: city slickers who need an easily accessible escape into nature. They are meant to be a place to unplug, so all but seven outposts don’t have cellphone service or Wi-Fi. I chose Shenandoah North because it allows you to be online, unlike the other Shenandoah location. But my cabin still had Getaway’s signature cellphone lockbox as a way to formally put your everyday stress and cares away. I even used it for a few hours. Look, I’m trying to ease into this camping thing, OK?

I know that dyed-in-the-wool outdoors people might consider Getaway, which is $150 to $300 nightly depending on the day, to be closer to glamping than real camping. But that’s actually what makes it more attractive to someone like me, who has been trying to forward my mail to the Sagamore Pendry or The Ivy Hotel. Wi-Fi isn’t the only potential perk. Each cabin averages 150 to 200 square feet and features a real toilet and shower, at least one incredibly comfortable bed, a kitchenette with a cooktop, a sink, ample cabinets, a snug little table and electricity.

Outside, there’s a picnic table and a campfire with bundles of wood and fire starters available for purchase. If you, like your girl, don’t know how to set up a fire, you can request for an extra $25 one that’s set up when you arrive, ready to be lit with one of the provided long lighters. They’ll even sell you fixings for s’mores, though my family and I brought our own, as well as macaroni and cheese cups, hot dogs, cans of tuna, mayo, snacks and a box of sangria. We fancy.

The cabins at Shenandoah North are nestled into two separate areas on a gravel road loop. There were neighboring ones on both sides through trees, close enough to see and know there were humans nearby but far enough away not to be in each other’s business. Each cabin is named after a grandparent of a Getaway staff member or guest. Ours was Harriet, which I took to be a good omen as it reminded me of my fellow Marylander Harriet Tubman, who herself mastered the wilderness.

Our Getaway allowed me to have the exact kind of vacation I prefer: a combination of things to do, as well as an invitation to do absolutely nothing if you want. (I once broke up with a dude who tightly scheduled a weekend in Philadelphia and literally timed my nap.) Unlike my usual vacations, this one involved the possibility of deer, which we saw, and bears, which we thankfully did not.

Here’s a rundown of the things you can do and the experiences we just let wash over us.

Hike

Our cabin was just steps from Orkney Springs Trail, a 5.2-mile out-and-back loop that leads into George Washington National Park. I headed out twice, once with my twin sister, who joined part of the trip with her kid, and once with my son, who pointed out evidence of fresh bear poop — a stark reminder that we were in the real woods and not at a Disney park version. The outpost is also close to the Laura Lake Trail Loop (2.5 miles) and the more challenging 4.6-mile North Mountain Trail.

Head into town

Basye is very small but has more than enough to hold a family’s interest. We found Smiley’s Kustard and Family Fun (1618 Orkey Grade), an ice cream stand with an adjacent mini-golf course. It confirmed for me that I am very bad at mini golf ($18 total for one adult and one child), but I enjoyed getting in extra steps while being beaten by my kid. Smiley’s is next to Pale Fire Brewing Co., a local beer emporium, which was sadly not open on the days we were there.

Ski, or just check out where skiing happens

There is obviously no snow right now at Bryce Resort (1842 Fairway Drive), which was about five minutes from our cabin, but from the terrace of its Copper Kettle restaurant, you can see the chair lift that, during the winter, brings skiers into the cozy restaurant to warm themselves by the giant fireplace or have a hot bite to eat. I recommend the pierogi ($14). There’s also award-winning golf and hiking trails.

Feed an emu

My kid and I make a point of finding zoos wherever we travel, and the closest one to our cabin was Luray Zoo (1087 U.S. Highway 211 West in Luray), near the famous caverns. Located about an hour away, the zoo ($12 for those 13 and older and $6 for kids 3 to 12) was a unique collection of animals that have been rescued.

We walked through the entrance, made to look like giant gator jaws, to see an impressive reptile room and an outdoor area featuring monkeys, a lemur and a large petting zoo area. The goats literally lined up single file and walked to the fence like, “Nice to see you. The food’s over there.” (It was $3 for a prepackaged cup of feed for the animals or 25 cents per gumball machine turn.) There was also an emu who towered over the other animals and watched us to make sure they weren’t missed. Warning: A few of the monkeys, including a vervet named Mr. Blueberries, might throw poop or gravel if you get too close. So don’t do that.

Drive

Even the trip to Basye is glorious — I started playing John Denver in the car on the way there. Be aware that these country roads taking you to your home away from home are very, very windy and steep and that deer might cross at any moment. As long as you don’t speed and keep your wits about you, the mountain views and architecture are exquisite. We took a drive into nearby Orkney Springs and discovered Shrine Mont, a retreat center that dates to the 1800s and includes many classic hotels and the namesake Cathedral Shrine of the Transfiguration. It reminded me of the abbey in “The Sound of Music.” We didn’t see any singing nuns, though.

Nothing at all

One of the best things about the Getaway was sinking luxuriously into its intended purpose, which is to truly leave behind the pressures of the city. So we did. We sat on the bed and played UNO. We looked out the cabin’s signature huge window and watched the sunrise. We ate s’mores and sang songs and set up yoga mats to stretch and meditate in the stillness. We laughed and talked and just enjoyed a chance to be together with no distractions. Glorious.

We are already making plans to return to Shenandoah North this fall, but that doesn’t mean I am giving up my fancy five-star ways. I’ve just added something different to my vacation repertoire — as long as there’s still Wi-Fi. I’m not there yet.