I will always remember a nurse I met before I was wheeled out of the hospital after having my son in July.

She didn’t save my life or adjust my pillows when I had back contractions. Instead, she affirmed my disdain for people’s unwarranted expectations with one presumptuous statement.

“We’ll see you in two years for your girl,” she said.

I opted out of sharing very colorful, do-you-kiss-your-mom-with-that-mouth vocabulary. Here’s the thing: I’ve known for a while that I only want one child. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t even sure I’d have any.

Deciding to be a one-and-done parent — and honestly, any decision about someone’s reproductive system — is a personal choice. My husband and I know the opportunities we want to provide for our son financially; our mental and emotional bandwidth; and our goals to fulfill him socially.

I’ve been called selfish and told I’m too young — and so is my son — to “really” be sure I don’t want more kids. But I am dying on this one-and-done hill. And when I go, I’ll be a mother to one child.

Erica Djossa, founder and CEO of Momwell, a mother-centered mental health care resource with clients in the U.S. and Canada, says when it comes to ideas about family size, people tend to want to project their values onto others.

“We don’t know why others make the decisions that they make, but it is really none of our business,” Djossa said.

Technically, I join the nearly 10% of households that only have one child in Baltimore, according to 2023 census data. And, that percentage has decreased over the past decade, with almost 13% of households clocking in one kiddo in 2013.

Despite what many assume, research suggests only children have “pretty normal” life outcomes compared to those with siblings. That’s what I learned from Toni Falbo, an only child and professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, who’s been researching only children for over 40 years.

Moms I spoke with cited an array of reasons that fueled their decisions.

West Baltimore native Derrica Lane says she may have had more than one child if she started when she was a little younger. Lane, who works in media, and her husband, Shawn, are comfortable with the decision to keep 7-year-old Noble as the only child they have together.

“The hardest thing for me to sit with is people’s sadness from it,” said Lane, 43.

Noble has a half-sister in New York, but in Baltimore, he’s the only kid in the house. They keep Noble involved with extracurricular activities such as engineering club or T-ball. Noble, she said, is also often referred to as “the mayor” at a local park they attend because of how social he is.

There’s also more time for the family to focus on keeping “his Black boy joy while gradually introducing him to America,” Lane said.

Brittany Croteau, 36, thinks a lot about “how the division of attention and quality of parenting would change” with more than one kid. Croteau, who’s originally from Gaithersburg, and her husband Josh, didn’t have a kid limit before having their 4 ½-year-old daughter, Maxine. But after a pandemic pregnancy with a lot of restrictions and loneliness, plus a previous miscarriage, the couple says now they are content with one child.

And for the naysayers who questioned when they’d have the next one, Croteau simply responds that the couple “got it right the first time.”

As someone who also experienced a miscarriage, I was filled with anxiety and fear that something was wrong during my pregnancy that required many doctor’s visits. Call me selfish, but I do not want to relive another nine months of that.

Postpartum depression, which for me still flickers on and off like a light switch, is also daunting and debilitating.

Emily Lewis, 30, who was an only child, said five months after giving birth she started “seeing the light and joys of motherhood” with her daughter, Eisley, who is now 7 months old.

They are starting to laugh together more, but those first few months were rough for Lewis, and she questioned if her feelings were normal. She has no idea how people do the newborn stage multiple times. As an office administrator who is married to a stay-at-home dad, Lewis said she wants to keep Eisley “spoiled, but not a brat.”

Whether you have one, three or 10 kids, they are not cheap. In addition to a partner, I have a lot of help from all of my son’s excited grandparents and other family.

Traci Kodeck, who chose to be a single mom, said she spent over $60,000 on IVF and had several miscarriages throughout the process. After three years of trying to have a baby, Kodeck, a 53-year-old health care nonprofit CEO, said she “was just happy with the one.”

Kodeck finds it easier to travel with her preteen daughter, Zola. Their itinerary is more flexible and affordable for the family of two as they chip away at their goal of visiting every state.

Motherhood continues to change me. I learn from struggles like baby meltdowns and waking up in the night, and revel in joys like baby snuggles and soft coos when I sing “You Are My Sunshine.” On the day I left the hospital after giving birth, I was at a loss for (polite) words when I parted ways with that nurse.

Today, I’d leave her with a few.

My son is enough.

Correction: This story has been updated to correct the spelling of Traci Kodeck's name.