By now, many have either watched an episode or at least seen a viral clip of the popular YouTube dating series, “Pop the Balloon or Find Love.”

The creators of the dating show, Bolia Motunda and Arlette Amuli, said they set out to create their modern-day version of a blind dating show that would mirror the intentionality, authenticity and rawness surrounding the current dating scene.

In a process of elimination, a man or woman enters the room with five to six people of the opposite sex each holding a red balloon and a thumbtack. Initial attraction, apparent energy, and answers to qualifying questions help determine if anyone of the panel pops their balloon. If the first impression is cool, then the balloon stays un-popped and the last man or woman standing wins. But if standards are not met? Pop! On to the next contestant, making it pretty much the Squid Games of Black dating.

Those on the show hold nothing back.

Like the woman in a blue dress (13:53 min mark) who rejected an entire panel of men whom she didn’t find attractive. Flashy self-proclaimed moguls (32:40 min mark) have taunted women with yachts and lavish lifestyles. And then, my favorite, when Aaron the plumber aka Turtle Man went head-to-head with “unqualified” ladies.

But as entertaining as I find the show, when the laughs fade and reality starts to surface, some unsettling truths about dating start to appear that the show just amplifies.

I’m no dating expert or guru. I’m sure, that in some love stories out there I’m the hero to some women and in others, well, I’m the handsome villain. What I do believe is that “Pop the Balloon or Find Love” is a show that is not just entertaining us but actually hurting us.

Here are three ways I believe it does a disservice to Black love.

The show promotes judging a book by its cover

At the basis of “Pop the Balloon or Find Love” is a show that glorifies judging a book by its cover. If you grew up in a household with Black grandmothers, then this is an old adage that you heard frequently. The show shows how we are all rebelling against what we were taught at some point as children. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have preferences, but judging solely on looks is largely high school behavior.

In fact, that is what I did in high school in the early 2000s, something I now regret. My brothers and I would catch the subway and bus to Security Square Mall or Owings Mills Mall and parade around as if we were the singing group B2K (we were actually called that), dressed in early 2000s chic − white tees five times too big, size 44 bootcut jeans and Air Force Ones. Our mission was to see who could get the most numbers. The girls we went after had to look like Kyla Pratt from the show “One on One.” We’d disqualify so many girls based on what we saw at first glance.

My point is this: We are all entitled to have our preferences when it comes to attraction, but a first-glance diagnosis shouldn’t be what we use to find one of the most powerful emotions in the world, love. The show indirectly promotes that attraction is based on a superficial first glance. At a certain age, your preferences should be more fine-tuned.

The show promotes toxicity

I believe “toxic” is the most misused and over-used word in the dictionary, but “Pop the Balloon or Find Love” fits the meaning of the word perfectly. I’m not convinced love is the motive of this show. I also don’t believe that most people are searching for love these days. Instead, they are searching for comfort, payback and filling an emotional void. When a balloon pops on the show, the host Arlette approaches the rejecter for a brief explanation of their decision. Though often funny, this interview most times is an opportunity for the contestant and the rejecter to exchange jabs for viral social media clips. It’s all fun and games until in real life a high schooler or college student adopts this toxic mindset as their ideology.

The show incorrectly promotes rejection

You haven’t lived enough if you haven’t been rejected by someone you were attracted to. Rejection is a part of life and sometimes the spark needed to get to the next level. Rejection also provides clarity when there is uncertainty. “Pop the Balloon or Find Love” does the opposite. Instead of rejection serving as an instrument for honesty, it becomes a spotlight for pettiness. There are countless episodes with contestants going back and forth with the rejected, some even turning into shouting matches.

Modern dating is already frustrating enough without making rejection counterproductive to the pursuit of love. Turning down a potential suitor should be done with grace and not resentment.

I’m not saying dating shows or even dating apps don’t work, but it’s much easier to find what you like by becoming what you want first. There’s an old proverb that says, “don’t chase butterflies, mend the garden.” Which is to say, become what you desire first, to attract the type of people you desire without being toxic toward them.

Black love is beautiful. It should be represented that way also.