It was Valerie “Val” McNeal’s birthday, and she knew she deserved VIP treatment.

She and two friends were dancing at a jazz festival in Cancun and chatting with one of the event’s organizers, who was so taken with the group that he offered to move them up from their nosebleed seats. But this was a special day — McNeal was turning 57, after all — so she told him she should sit in the best seat in the house. He chewed on it for a second and said, “You know what? You’re right.”

The women marched to the front row, where they were spoiled with bottle service and extra perks all night, her friends recalled. They also somehow got backstage and met a member of Earth, Wind & Fire.

“She ended up treated like a rock star because she claimed it,” said Stephanie Lightfoot, a friend and colleague. McNeal often told her friend to “think bigger than you can imagine.”

She kept that attitude her entire life, through decades of a successful real estate career and several tough years living with breast cancer. In her final days, she told her friends to stay positive.

McNeal, a team leader at Compass Real Estate in Ellicott City and a dedicated community volunteer, died May 27. She was 59.

She was born Nov. 9, 1965. Her older sister, Deborah, helped her mother pick her name, and she also had an older brother, Kenny. She earned a bachelor’s degree in arts, radio and television at the University of Maryland and later took graduate classes in business and marketing.

In 1990, she started working at The Washington Post as an advertising executive. She spent about nine years there and continued working in advertising before switching to real estate in 2002. She worked for a decade at RE/MAX and then had a brief stint at EXIT Legacy Realty.

McNeal became a realtor and residential specialist in 2013 at Keller Williams Integrity in Ellicott City. She also spent a decade there before becoming a realtor and team leader at Compass in 2022.

Lightfoot decided to become a realtor about eight years ago. She’d known of McNeal for years through mutual friends, but her career switch allowed them to connect in a new way. McNeal was well known and respected in the industry, and she trained Lightfoot so well she was named Rookie of the Year.

Their friendship grew as they attended real estate and social events together. They were like sisters — and, as it turns out, it wasn’t just a feeling. After years of knowing each other, they discovered they share a distant aunt.

“She didn’t only mentor me through real estate, but she literally mentored me as a role model, and as someone who kind of stepped in as a mother figure as well once my mother passed last year,” Lightfoot said.

McNeal always showed up to work events dressed to the nines, and she was an organized and efficient professional, Lightfoot said. But behind the polished exterior was a fun, quirky woman who loved to travel. Lightfoot knew about five years ago she had to introduce McNeal to her other friend, Erika Chavarría.

The three had plans to go see a Broadway show in New York City, but when Lightfoot fell sick with COVID, Chavarría and McNeal had their first chance to bond privately. Chavarría laughed as she recalled McNeal leaving her phone twice in taxis, forcing the pair to run down the street in heels. Somehow, probably because of her rock star attitude, McNeal got her phone back both times, her friend said.

“She always just won in the end,” Chavarría said.

McNeal also loved letting loose at karaoke nights, and her friends fondly remember her signature rendition of Donna Summer’s “Last Dance.” She was obsessed with music, especially jazz.

“She was just a very flexible person, just easy to hang out with and do anything,” said Phyllis King, another friend who considered McNeal a sister.

Though Chavarría didn’t work in real estate, the two shared a commitment to social justice and often discussed ways to make the world a more equitable place. After the murder of George Floyd in 2020, McNeal was a vocal supporter of the Black Lives Matter movement. Some of her posts on social media about anti-racism gained traction in the real estate industry, prompting difficult but necessary conversations, her friends said.

At the time, she faced backlash for posting her political views, and she was reprimanded by her brokerage, Lightfoot said. But “she was willing to risk clients and risk money for this belief, for her truth,” Lightfoot said.

In her day-to-day work, McNeal “had the goal of helping families find homes and creating generational wealth, particularly Black families,” Chavarría said. “And she was really intent on that, making sure that the home-buying process was a positive experience, but also that it led to generational wealth.”

She also made sure to give back to her community. During the pandemic, Chavarría launched a nonprofit, Columbia Community Care, that helps with hunger relief and community-building projects. McNeal sat on the board.

McNeal enjoyed a busy and fulfilling life, her friends said, but she longed for a romantic partner. It was her one missing piece — and it came to her at the end of last year.

McNeal reconnected with Dave De Jesus, a former coworker at The Washington Post. The two had stayed in touch through social media through the years, and a mutual friend reintroduced them. Their first phone call lasted more than two hours.

De Jesus knew of her battle with cancer, but he didn’t mind. He just wanted to enjoy every day he could in her company, and she wanted the same. She didn’t look or act sick, and she believed until the end that she could overcome her illness. She didn’t tell many people about her cancer.

“She didn’t want people to worry about her or to fret over her or to treat her special,” De Jesus said. “She just wanted to be herself and show up, and she always put on her gang face.”

The two were able to travel to Paris and London before McNeal’s death, bucket list items for her. When they returned to Maryland, her decline was quick, but she maintained her resolve. Even in her worst moments, she was still asking friends around her if they were OK.

“She loved life so much, but she wasn’t afraid of what was in front of her,” De Jesus said. “But she loved what she was leaving behind.”

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