Dear Gov. Moore:
How was Italy? Is George Clooney nice?
Was it cold in that boat, you know, the one where you were photographed sunbathing topless by the paparazzi? Not a billionaire’s yacht-topless-tabloid photo, but maybe millionaire’s dinghy caliber.
Is George Clooney nice? Why does the two-time Oscar winner make so many crappy movies? Why did he leave “ER” to make so many crappy movies?
My kids used to sing a song about me taking photos for work.
My papa is a paparazzi
He take the pictures every day
He chase the movie stars and their fancy cars
Before they drive away.
There’s nothing wrong with taking a vacation, or taking your shirt off on vacation.
I’ve read about the optics of it. How the people causing our moment of national distress say that you taking your wife to George Clooney’s house on Lake Como for her 50th birthday was inappropriate at our moment of national distress.
Being governor of Maryland apparently is viewed as a 24-7 kind of job where you’re always wearing a shirt in case, you know, the president interrupts his golf game to send in the National Guard.
Mr. Governor, I’m sure you’d stand on Interstate 95 to stop the tanks. I bet you’d wear a shirt, for the optics.
New rule! Maryland governors should only vacation in Ocean City. I think it was Parris Glendening who caused a snit by saying he preferred Rehoboth, or maybe it was Harry Hughes. They looked alike, and were never seen shirtless.
He — they? — called it a family tradition, like he’d grown up a Delawarean Moses.
William Donald Schaefer had a mobile home in Ocean City. Marvin Mandel vacationed in Jamaica, where the optics weren’t great even with his shirt on. He got a free ride on a millionaire’s jet.
Where did Larry Hogan vacation? Did he vacation?
Martin O’Malley spent nights playing guitar in bars wearing a snug T-shirt. Did that count as a shirtless vacation?
Bob Ehrlich greeted lawmakers at the door of the governor’s mansion in his pajamas. It felt like he was on vacation for four years.
Maryland governors should pass an OC literacy test before vacationing anywhere else.
The Bearded Clam is:
A) Aged seafood.
B) What locals call the proposed offshore wind farm.
C) A hole-in-the-wall tavern on Wicomico Street.
D) The surprise at the bottom of a tub of Thrasher’s Fries.
Hey, what does George Clooney drink? Did you and your wife have an Orange Crush made with his Casamigos™ premium tequila? You should only drink the official Maryland cocktail while on vacation, you know, for the optics.
Please tell George Clooney that I’m the one who thought “Tomorrowland” was great.
“Wolfs” was a bit arch, even if the gag with the body bag and the luggage cart was neat.
Gov. Moore, did you meet Brad Pitt while you were at George Clooney’s house? Was Julia Roberts there? They were all in “Oceans 11.” Do they hang out?
Spiro Agnew used an old beach house on Assateague as a summer home while he was governor. I wonder if he and Richard Nixon hung out there shirtless.
I walked up to it once, north of the state park and south of the Ocean City inlet. The place was a dump, but so was Agnew as Nixon’s vice president.
How was the food in Italy? Did George Clooney cook for you and Mrs. Moore?
I took my wife on a Mediterranean cruise for her 50th birthday. The kids came along.
We ate pasta carbonara at a little place tucked into a hillside park. It was Nice, or maybe nice. Is George Clooney nice? Have you ever been to Nice?
We spend most of our vacations in Kentucky. In fact, I wrote this while I was there over the weekend. My wife is from Owensboro, and we led a group of friends to the bourbon festival in Bardstown.
One of them told me she’s been to Lake Como. She saw George Clooney’s house. It looked nice.
Some of the earliest bourbon distillers were from Maryland, Thompson Willet, Basil Hayden, Jacob Beam and Old Grandad. It’s like we invented it.
I wonder where they went on vacation. The people are nice in Kentucky, even if the politics aren’t my cup of, well, bourbon.
Did you know George Clooney is from Kentucky? Does he get back there often?
Jennifer Lawrence is from Kentucky, too. Was she at George Clooney’s house while you were there? Is she nice?
I had a great piece of banana cream pie in Maysville once. George Clooney’s father Nick, a TV journalist, was from there. My wife told me later it was actually coconut cream, so it doesn’t really count.
Did you know George Clooney’s aunt was the singer and “White Christmas” star Rosemary Clooney? His uncle was the actor José Ferrer, and his cousin was the actor Miguel Ferrer.
I thought his uncle was great with Humphrey Bogart in “The Caine Mutiny.”
I can’t remember, did Bogie take his shirt off while he was on that boat with Katherine Hepburn in “The African Queen?” Was she at George Clooney’s house?
I was mad at George Clooney last year, when he said President Joe Biden should step aside for health reasons. I mentioned it in a column.
Did he read it? Would you ask the next time you’re at George Clooney’s house? I should probably tell him I’m sorry, he was right.
We didn’t make it to the beach this year. I’m from Ocean City, but I secretly prefer the Delaware coast. Don’t tell anyone. Bad optics.
Let’s meet up at The Bearded Clam on Wicomico Street the next time you and Mrs. Moore are free.
You can tell me all about George Clooney’s house. Maybe he can come. I’ll buy you all a bourbon. It’ll be nice.
We can talk about the optics, and how sometimes they are just nonsense.
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