National Single Parent Day has been an official observance since President Ronald Reagan signed it into existence in 1984. As a solo mother myself, I had absolutely no idea this was a thing until a conversation with Danielle Staton, executive director of the Baltimore chapter of the Jeremiah Program.

Staton herself had never heard of the day until last year, but considers it a timeless idea.

“Single mothers are some of the most resilient people I have ever met,” said Staton, whose organization’s mission is to uplift these parents through higher education, assisting participants in earning their associate’s or bachelor’s degree. The Jeremiah Program also supports each mother with the tools necessary to accomplish these goals, like early child care education and secure, affordable housing.

“Sometimes, you get tired of being resilient and strong. It’s OK not to be OK,” said Staton, also a single mother. One of her goals is to bring awareness to single parenting by taking away some of the shame associated with it.

Boy, am I familiar with that.

In late 2023, I wrote a series on single motherhood, including the stigma society can place on women raising children without a partner in the home. The parents I interviewed for those columns came from every imaginable background and circumstance, facing not only the difficulties of going it alone, but navigating the opinions of others who’ve decided they know your life.

“I find that people are usually well-intentioned and want to support you, but there’s an assumption that Dad is nowhere around,” Staton said. “I think in my experience, nobody said that directly, but I was talking about where my daughter was and someone asked, ‘Who picked you up from the hospital when she was born?’ And I said, ‘Her dad?’ They thought he was nowhere in the picture. It’s subtle things like that, or the surprise of, ‘You don’t seem like you would be a single mother!’ You do all the right things and sometimes it happens anyway.”

Staton’s journey to single parenting — and strangers’ confused reactions to it — is indicative of the usual stereotypes about moms like us. She was in a relationship with her daughter’s father prior to the birth, which happened while Staton was in graduate school. “It was felt that it wasn’t gonna work out,” she remembered.

As a widow, I came to single parenting differently than Staton, but I was struck that it took a while for both of us to even refer to ourselves that way. “When I first came to this role [in 2022], this was not something I constantly thought about. My interview was the first time that I explicitly said ‘I am a single mom,’” she said.

While part of her job is to help people “connect the dots” between their perception of single mothers and the reality, it’s also to connect the mothers to each other. “Being isolated adds to the shame,” Staton said. “You’re doing all the work, being in school, so having the opportunity to connect with women who have similar experiences is very positive. It’s the secret sauce to what we do [at the Jeremiah Program].”

In fact, Staton said many of the moms in the program didn’t have positive relationships with other women. “I do think there’s been kind of a lost sisterhood, and it’s very important to have a community of people who have your back, whether it’s a mom or a coach, that you can be your authentic self with,” she said. “Maybe you didn’t become a single mom because you messed up your relationships. Maybe co-parenting didn’t go well. Some children’s fathers are deceased.”

What the mothers at the Jeremiah Program need sometimes — really, what all single mothers need — is time to focus on themselves, which can be hard without a partner or support. You know the old adage about putting your own oxygen mask on first?

Their holistic approach is reflected in partnerships with community organizations as well. The Jeremiah Program has done events with organizations such as Esi’s House, a group home for young mothers under 25, and Charm City Pearls, associated with the Psi Phi Omega chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc., which supports young women.

Last week, the Jeremiah Program held a yoga class at their Howard Street headquarters that provided more than just downward dogs. They offered child care, something you need if you’re going to practice and you don’t want your kids sitting on your mat. They also provide backup child care in general for when a mother has to study or go to a job interview.

I asked Staton if she’s worried about support for single mothers during our current presidential administration’s seeming mission to slash so many public programs. She did express concern about federally funded Pell Grants, for which most of the women in the program are eligible. However, she said most of them don’t qualify for other support programs, so the Jeremiah Program seeks to fill in the gaps.

“One thing we are big about is celebrating moms, individually and collectively. We give Mom shoutouts, like, ‘This person got a new job, or this person is doing well,’” she said. “We want to set them up to look at each other and say, ‘She did this. I can do it, too.’”

And when mothers succeed, so do their children. “If you can just get an opportunity, it can work,” Staton said. “So many of our moms are on the honor roll. They have a higher purpose, because they’re thinking, ‘It’s not just for me, but for my kid.”

Correction: This article has been updated to correct the name of the Jeremiah Program.